About six months ago, I became very ill, and following my illness, most of my female friends developed illnesses as well.

I spent most of my days taking blood, acquiring information about what could have caused my illness and fighting to discover what was going on with my body. I tried to sit, tried to walk, run, attend meetings, and all of those attempts were humbling to say the least. I had to learn how to say no to appointments or gatherings, and explain why my schedule was so tentative. Through it all, I disappointed people. But often, the only ones who were disappointed were the ones who weren’t listening.

As a woman who has shouldered many responsibilities from a young age, I had become not only complacent, but fed expectations. When I fell ill, I had no choice but to suffer the withdrawal of praise and the outrage of many.

Gabor Mate spoke of patterns in women who develop autoimmune conditions (where the body attacks itself). Patterns like suppressing healthy anger, and putting the needs of others before their own. How many of us then would be vulnerable? Perhaps we can agree, too many.

It is no shock according to his theory then, that my labs indicated an autoimmune condition. For many of my female friends, no labs or panels came back ‘significant’, but their symptoms said otherwise. Perhaps twenty women in my personal circles, friends, family, and colleagues, had sudden and continuous illnesses that arose within the last year. None of us have solutions. None of us even know what we have.

Limited Information on Women

I often feel like I’m exaggerating or inventing my symptoms in my head. No one knows whats going on, and many people told me it was simply the stress of being in medical school or being a young adult. It was only after learning about barriers to healthcare women face, that I began to view my symptoms not as imaginary; but real despite being unexplained.

In addition to policy, socioeconomic factors and environmental factors that influence access to diagnoses and treatment, research and scientific knowledge on women’s bodies is also still developing.

• The National Institute of Health only officially required female animals to be studied in 2016.

Prior to this, researchers could get NIH funding for male-only animal studies and male-only research was common even in conditions that disproportionately affected women.

• The requirement to include human women in ANY research was implemented in 1993.

This is less than 40 years ago. Clinical decisions for women could rely on male-only or male-dominated studies without adequate evidence that those findings apply to women.

Significant gaps remain in our understanding of women’s health even excluding individual differences. So I urge you, do not discount your experiences because medical explanations are absent. If you do not have an answer, it does not mean nothing is happening.

Research is Moving

Thankfully, there have, been significant advances in women’s health, although sometimes, the progress reveals how much has been overlooked. A structure in women’s bodies, that was long overlooked has been reintroduced as a potential organ within the last 5 years. The Rete Ovarii, was discovered in the 1800’s, and often excluded from medical texts, dismissed as functionless.

A paper about this structure in 2025, describes its potential functions and significance. Although this study was conducted on mice, and the organ’s function in humans is still unknown, the renewed attention reminds me that medical knowledge is still developing.

The degree of exclusion of women’s health in research is shocking and can be disheartening (I was discouraged for sure), but it reminds us that not having an explanation, does not mean our experiences should be dismissed.

Self-Helping my Way Through: What I learned

When I fell ill, I began doing my own research on what my condition could be, and how to feel better. I discovered (often through trial and error), medicines, diets and even medical interventions that I proposed to my healthcare team. Despite having many trials at finding my team, finding one that listened, was worth it. Here are a few things I learned.

1. I needed to select who I listen to.
   1. Many people were eager to wave off my symptoms, sometimes, because this was how they dealt with their own. Their opinions mean nothing about my reality. A select group of people truly listened and believed me throughout. They reminded me that I know my body, and I must not gaslight myself about feeling sick.
2. I had to pay attention to physical changes.
   1. Besides the symptoms that were blaring warnings, like severe pain, fainting, etc, I had to learn how to notice the smaller ones. As someone who ignored my body for decades, often ‘powering through’ feeling sick or tired, I had to learn how to pay attention to pain, nausea, and even brain fog, to find triggers and relievers, so I could adjust and make small, compounding changes.
3. Fighting for recovery can feel lonely.
   1. Finding labs and doctors and research on every symptom myself, was exhausting, especially while ill and in medical school. I tried to keep pushing, but God had other plans, and I had to pause everything besides working on my health. I cannot imagine this endeavor if I had children or people I was responsible for. It is terrifying, and exhausting, and a daily battle where I must seek encouragement. Sometimes, I had to give it to myself. I can only thank God for this and pray we all get the strength to do so.
4. Do not stop
   1. It took months of severe illness before I found an inch of hope. For me, that inch was finding a doctor who believed me, and supported the directions I wanted to pursue. This inch took me from physical helplessness to survival. An inch may seem small to many, but for me, it was leaps and bounds.
5. Do not stop
   1. It is the stories of others, having similar experiences, that reminded me I had to continue. Because I know how I would have felt if they had stopped.

Overall

As I continue searching for answers and solutions, I hope you comment and ask me questions or even for encouragement. We are not alone in this.

If I have any final statements for this post it is this:

Do not stop.

When you are at your wits end, as I have been (although I cannot begin to understand your individual experience), I hope this may encourage you and remind you, that many are enduring battles for our bodies. We have however, often been taught to do so silently.

So let us, when the exhaustion sets in, remember each other and our hope for one another’s health. Pushing forward, knowing other women are praying for us to keep going.

Best,

Med Girly