Simply Girly

As women, we are extremely capable and often overlooked. People don’t assume we can be decisive or serious, although they expect us to handle many tasks at once. I’m the eldest daughter of a very big family, and I know how heavy the pressure can feel when people expect the world from you. I’m a people pleaser, obsessive, and often distracted because I’m thinking about something I need to do, so I struggle to live in the present. 

I have so many faults but often, I’m forced to deal with other people’s problems so I can’t even find the time to work on myself. In addition to this, my period finds a way to ruin my sleep schedule every month! Periods are also scientifically shown to alter learning ability through visual and mechanical learning, so every month (against my unyielding efforts), my learning is impacted.

I’m battling family issues, stress, and reproductive issues and I know many women understand this seemingly impossible fight. But we do it as women, and we do it together, constantly inspiring one another and reminding each-other to show ourselves grace and care.

It’s hard to do this when the world tells you everything is your responsibility. Modern women are expected to be girl bosses, CEO’s, PHD students, doctors AND stellar mothers. The pressures are growing and I don’t want to support this overwhelming pressure on women, but I also want it all. 

This post is about finding ways to care for yourself by watching your habits and experiences and learning what works for YOU. I’ve spent my last five years watching myself intently and trying not to oppose or hate my weaknesses, but support them. However, it always begins with identification and observance. You must understand your patterns first.

Here are some of my suggestions for identifying patterns 

1. Tell someone you trust when something distressing or out of the ordinary happens to you.  

Strangely, other people are very good at identifying our patterns and it helps to have a person you trust see your behaviors from the outside. It was my aunt that told me I never sleep before my period, and she identified this pattern before I could.

2. Try different stress reduction techniques and check off what works and doesn’t

For some people, meditation is the best thing ever, for me, it’s bilateral stimulation (crossing arms and tapping opposite shoulders). I suggest you try as many methods in the book, give them a shot at least for three or four days, and if they don’t work, cross them off the list and move on to a new method. Do not give up if some of them don’t work. Trust me, something will! 

Here’s a few to look up and try:

• Bilateral stimulation 
• Ice on the back of the neck
• Deep breathing 
• Naming five things you can feel, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you smell and one thing you taste

These are some techniques to slow down your fight flight instincts and hopefully calm down panic attacks or immediate anxiety. Some long term techniques to reduce anxiety overall include meditation, practicing mindfulness, repeating daily affirmations, reframing thoughts (replacing negative thoughts with positive ones) and beginning therapy. 

As women, no one tells us to take care of ourselves because we’re too busy taking care of others. If you are a woman looking to pursue medicine, I truly am inspired by you and encourage you in this pursuit. But, no one will support you and care for you like you (and God of course). So it’s important to learn how to be self-supportive before you jump into the deep pool of medicine and medical school.

I also recommend that while you’re studying, you make sure to have hobbies and activities you can do imperfectly. It’s important to remind yourself that you can play, and be bad at things like art, dance, figure skating, volleyball, etc. Everyone needs a breath away from the pressure of perfection that comes with pursuing medicine. 

These techniques have helped me start moving away from feeling like I’m drowning due to expectations and responsibilities and I hope they at least give you a sense of camaraderie. You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed, most people are, some are just really good at appearing put together. 

Please take care of yourself. As always, I’ll link some materials below to help. This week, it’s a self care package, some journals, some painting and art materials and some books on cognitive behavioral therapy (to help with the long term changes). 

Best of luck pookies,

Med girly 

Self-care package: https://amzn.to/3F3eQ6m

Books on Behavioral Therapy: https://amzn.to/4kdCxYJ

Journal: https://amzn.to/3F3eQ6m

Painting/ art materials: https://amzn.to/3Yzh2JC