Simply Girly

After going keto, working on my fitness (mostly butt workouts of course) and fighting every day to be in my feminine energy, I finally paused to ask myself why. Why was I doing all this? Why was I losing the weight? And fighting to be this image of a woman I only know because of tiktok. 

It’s a hard answer. I could blame the internet for its standards of women, or my male family members for reminding me almost daily of my role as a girl. But there’s more. It’s also the college classrooms full of loud boys and the bartenders pouring pretty girls extra drinks. It’s the daily glances up and down my frame if I’m wearing something tight, and the old women telling me to cover up.

It’s everything, everywhere, all at once. And I was, for a long time, part of this everything myself. I would catch myself making remarks to others about girls wearing “scandalous” outfits or too much makeup. I didn’t care, but I felt like I should, and I still can’t describe exactly why. 

Why Knowing Yourself Must Be the Beginning of Growth:

All my keto, intermittent fasting and even exercise initiatives failed. I never saw the pounds dropping, I only became more and more self critical. And I’m grateful it didn’t work out. Because now I see my “why” more clearly, and I want nothing but to be separated from it.

Today I spoke to a very wise woman, who spent some time getting to know herself and some of her “whys”. She explained that if your why is wrong, many times, God refuses to give you what you want. 

My “why” was for others to be appeased, to find comfort in my appearance and be accepted, even praised by my community. However, the consequence for success in my efforts would have been disastrous. I would have perpetuated the disease of social pressures on women that (as I have personally witnessed) corrodes women’s bodies and minds. My “why” led me to self loathing and judgment, and honestly, the world does this already, so I was doubling up on hate and anger. 

Steps You Should Take After Identifying a Toxic Motive for Growth?

It’s hard to reframe beliefs about beauty. I was taught as a kid that I need to be slim at all costs, have perfect teeth, flawless skin and a big butt. Kind of sickening in hindsight, that children are taught to seek beauty from birth. From their parents holding back meals and getting them braces (not always a bad thing). It’s heartbreaking but once identified, we can start to work away from it together.

We must tell ourselves we have our own beauties, granted by God himself who designed the most effortless lilies. We must walk along mental paths of self-acceptance and grace that over time can become dirt roads, and maybe one day, smooth and easy asphalt. So one day our thoughts of uniqueness and self-love come completely naturally, and our baby girls will never have to whither under the weight of the world. Unfortunately, our knees and joints have been worn down by the pressures of society, and for that, I send my genuine apologies. But I know there is hope, because I have seen women do it. 

Closing Remarks:

To those looking for their why, be brave and courageous, always seeking the guidance of God. 

To the women who know their why, please teach us all to be aware. Please fight to protect others from the wars society wages daily against women’s minds and bodies.