Simply Girly

I never really knew what to expect from people, but I chose to hope for the best. I always think that people will show up for me if I show up for them, care for me like I did them, but when I suffer, sometimes I find they fall away like flies.

I am navigating one disappointing encounter right now. It feels like the most basic moral matter, but my brother cannot seem to accept the wrongdoing. I suffer because I expected him to be responsible and understand, or at the very least, listen.

I used to wake him up every morning for school, take punishments for his actions and then find the strength to comfort him after we shared the consequences for his mistakes. I even helped him with his college applications and lost sleep over his essays.

Yet, he refuses to take accountability for one matter. The last time he disappointed me was right after he gave me hope. He told me to tell him my issues, and when he found that they weighed tons, he said he would support me. He sent me research on depression and articles on surviving trauma, and I felt for a moment like I was supported.

Then, the very day after I told him, he ghosted me. He didn’t answer my calls, or texts. I was worried he was sick or in trouble and he didn’t let me know he was okay, I only heard from my mom who got a hold of him somehow. As it turns out, he wasn’t sick or in trouble, just busy.

So busy that the day after I told him my worst pains, he couldn’t let me know he was okay. He let my messages stack for about a week. I let it go. After all, I am older.

While my brother’s actions hurt, what hurts even more is realizing how common this lack of empathy is-not just from him, but from so many men in society. I don’t know if he will ever understand the pain of female reproductive issues. The struggle to survive amongst crowds of men, when we know they’re staring at our collarbones. The need to cross our arms when walking the street because we know someone is looking. We don’t need to look up to confirm; we would only see too many eyes, lingering and buzzing. And that’s scarier than looking down.

And it pains me that so many of them choose not to listen. There are men who try to understand, but too often, the suffering of women is dismissed simply because it isn’t experienced firsthand.

Ignorance. I will always be shocked by the ignorance of some men. May God help those men, and may God strengthen the women who are suffering.

This was a bit of a heavier topic, but something I needed to get off my chest. Hopefully, some women feel they can express themselves through this piece too.

Best,

Med Girly